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п»їNew Twist on an old Game: Sexual Bets.
Looking for an easy way to spice up sex? Here’s a simple method that costs nothing and anyone can do.
Last week, my wife and I were chatting over Facebook (I was at work, she was on her phone). We were discussing the plans for the evening, were there any meetings, clubs, activities, etc that we are required to go to. Then she sent me a message that nearly knocked me off my chair:
Maybe we could play cards and whoever wins can have almost anything they want later…..
Now, the “almost” is entirely understandable as we’ve only had sex once since our last child was born. Certain limitations were 100% understood and acceptable. Of course I liked the plan. We were playing Dominion, a strategy game involving cards. It’s a pretty fast paced game with a turn lasting typically 10 seconds or less and a game lasting a half an hour or more, and you’re never quite sure who is winning until you finish and count up the points.
Now, we love this game, but that night there was something else. We were both a little nervous I think. When’s the last time you were nervous about sex? And I don’t mean being nervous about your spouse saying “no”. But just nervous because you are in new territory. I was being a lot more daring in my strategies, trying new things, anything to win, and by the end of the first game, I had no idea who was going to win before the actual scoring.
We counted up the cards, and I came out on top, 76 to 74. 2 points! But we were playing best two out of three. After a short break, we started the second game. Now I was really nervous. If I won, we were finished and I got “almost anything” I wanted. If not, we’d have to play again, and lose a half an hour of potential in bed time, and I might lose. After a grueling game, we counted up the cards, and again, I was on top. 105 vs 103. I had won by only 2 points each game, and consequently had won the bet!
A board game had completely changed our outlook on upcoming sex. Just to be clear: we were going to have sex anyways, I don’t think your sex life should ever depend on any outside influence like the outcome of a game, or chores completed. I don’t see anything wrong with those things being extra, but not the basis for your intimacy.
So, what about you, have you ever spiced up your sex life with a sexual bet?
37 Questions for spouses to ask each other about sex.
Subscribe to get the 2 page PDF full of questions to help you and your spouse start to talk about your sex life.
Related.
8 thoughts on “New Twist on an old Game: Sexual Bets”
Nobody commented? Really? Ok, I’m game….
I’ve got nothing. We’ve never done this, but it is something I’d like to do. I always thought those fuzzy dice would be fun…you know, the ones that say lick, kiss, suck, whatever on one die and a body part on another. Hubby’s not too adventurous, though.
Otherwise, I thought about buying him a deck of cards and on each card writing something I love about him. I was either going to give them to him to use when he’s away from home to pass the time, or use them for a bedtime card game.
I was just cruising around to get familiar with you site and stopped here for a moment. I wanted to say something about sexual bets that may lead to a post of you in the future. Having read the posts on bondage, among others, I feel you will understand my point.
I am sure at some point you and your wife have asked one another “What would you like, anything special? I also suspect at this more advanced point in your sex life you both respond with a suggestion/request/”demand”/whatever.
I am sure though that a lot of couples respond with “what ever you want” or “oh, anything” or “I like everything you do,” or “I don’t know. Surprise me.” It understandable that this happens with couples that aren’t comfortable with their sexuality or comfortable and secure with sharing it so openly, even though married. I won’t get into how they need to get past that, that’s a whole other issue.
My point here is that the misunderstood or overlooked dynamic here is that your spouse wants very much to please you. They want to give you the gift of a fulfilled sexual experience and in so doing, receive a feeling of emotional attunement with you. In short pleasuring you will please and pleasure them also. But in order for them to give to you, you have to request. Remember when you were a child and you parents asked what did you want for Christmas or your birthday? If they could afford it, find it and thought it was beneficial, they bought it for you. They received joy seeing you receive that gift. Your spouses desire to give you a sexual or intimate gift for your pleasure will give them joy and pleasure in return. Don’t be guilty of denying them that opportunity because you are too shy, inhibited or feel unworthy of a love that deep. How disappointed have you felt when you asked our spouse what they wanted as a gift for a special occasion and they replied, “Oh nothing. Don’t worry about it. We really can’t afford anything anyway?” In reality you understood their reply, but felt denied a chance to express your love. It’s really a form of refusal although we don’t look at it that way. There is always an option to suggest the “cheaper” gift that can be “afforded” if you will as opposed to outright denial toward your spouse. Tell them you’d love to go to that ice cream place from your dating days. You can find a gift you are comfortable asking for and allow your spouse to have that joy of pleasing you.
Also, in asking for something, you are saying there are things you do for me that we share that I dearly love and cherish. Will you please do that for me now? How do you think that makes them feel about your relationship? They feel wanted, needed, appreciated and desired. You have just given them a gift too. Be thinking about how you will answer that question the next time it is asked, or better still, don’t wait for them to ask. You be brave and go first. Tell them what you like and want. Believe it of not, that is more fulfilling to your mate than them having to ask. It tells them that they are on you mind even in your absence.
AS to the game post that got me started on this. I feel if you have “WON” a right of request, you are particularly obliged to come up with some “demand” and the more unique or special, the better. The important dynamic here is both parties entered into a contract of winner takes all. The apparent thing is we are playing to win. Below the surface though, one or both may be playing to lose. The loser gets the opportunity to give and that may be more satisfying than “winning.” That may be the real win of the game.
Yes, I agree, for this to work, there has to be two things: 1) Spouses have to be free to talk about sex together. 2) Spouses have to have an attitude that sex is good and like to serve each other in this capacity.
If #1 is missing, winning will feel like losing because of the uncomfortable position it puts you in. If #2 is missing, winning will feel like losing, because you will be forcing your partner, against their will, to perform sexually.
Thanks for commenting, welcome to the site.
“My point here is that the misunderstood or overlooked dynamic here is that your spouse wants very much to please you.” I think this is a very powerful dynamic for men – much more than women. I say that because sexually speaking, men are less complex than women. Men derive a great deal of satisfaction from pleasing their wives. And to not let them know how to do that relationally and sexually, is as Userdand says, “a form of refusal”. In our marriage we’ve both been guilty of it, and then blaming the other person, however subtly, for not being able to read the cues or figure it out.
But like JD says, in order for this kind of intimacy to happen, there has to be freedom. In my opinion, you don’t get this kind of freedom without some serious maturity and trust. With maturity and trust leading to deeper freedom, the gates of inhibition are blown out of the water.
“My point here is that the misunderstood or overlooked dynamic here is that your spouse wants very much to please you.”
I just wanted to clarify something about that quote. I was poorly written on my part. It reads like I am saying Jay Dee may not understand that dynamic. I was meaning to imply that any married couple may over look that aspect of responding to being asked, “What can I do for you?” The person responding and voicing a request may feel they are somehow being selfish and not understand that they are in effect actually enhancing the shared intimacy between them and they both then can share in the blessing of giving to one another in a way that only they can do for one another under the marriage covenant. I hope that didn’t confuse things.
I was a bit confused about that, but chose to assume the best. Thanks for clarifying though.
Sexy Corte and I love ourselves some sex games!
Recapping busy start for 2021 sports betting legislation.
A few weeks into 2021, lawmakers in more than a dozen states have already introduced sports betting legislation or have announced plans to do so.
Here’s a state-by-state recap of some of the most important such bills filed during a frantic start to the 2021 legislative session:
Georgia.
A bipartisan group of lawmakers in the state House of Representatives introduced a mobile sports betting bill last week that would allow at least six individually branded online licenses under the purview of the state lottery.
Status: The bill has not been assigned yet to a committee but it is being championed by Rep. Ron Stephens, who chairs the House Economic Development & Tourism Committee. That means it should at least get a serious look.
Look Ahead: Georgia came surprisingly close to passing legal sports betting last year, backed by Republican fiscal conservatives and the state’s professional sports organizations. However, any gaming bill still faces opposition from religious and social conservative organizations and lawmakers. The back-and-forth between these factions of the GOP could determine sports betting’s 2021 hopes.
Connecticut.
After years discussing legal sports betting, Connecticut finally seems on the verge of legal wagering legislation passing into law.
Status: A bipartisan, bicameral bill with 17 sponsors — and the backing of Gov. Ned Lamont — was filed last week and now awaits further action in the Joint Committee on Public Safety and Security.
Look Ahead: The bill offers few details beyond approving the state’s two gaming tribes to open retail and online sportsbooks, as well as online casinos (the state lottery would also be able to expand its offerings). Significant work is required before this bill could pass but the fact so many lawmakers are on board, as well as the tribes, gives online sports betting and casino gaming a great chance to pass, even if it looks like there may be limited wagering options.
Missouri.
Lawmakers have already introduced six sports betting bills, meaning the Show Me State will once again consider legal wagering, even though significant logistical and political hurdles remain.
Status: Bills have been introduced in both the House and Senate but only one has been assigned to a committee.
Look Ahead: Missouri lawmakers must weigh sports betting against an ongoing legislative fight over video lottery terminals, which would have a far larger financial consequence than even online sportsbooks. Lawmakers must consider the casino industry interests while also determining if the state should regulate thousands of unlicensed “grey” gaming machines that are already in existence, legalizing new machines or banning them outright. They also will have to do so remotely, at least for this week; the 2021 legislative session has been suspended due to a COVID-19 outbreak.
Kentucky.
Rep. Adam Koenig is once again spearheading mobile sports betting legislation, this time with 16 co-sponsors. But after a similar 2020 bill faltered following a promising start, this year’s legislative session leaves little wiggle room for what appears a long-shot effort.
Status: This year’s bill hasn’t been taken up by a committee yet but assuming it advances as its counterpart did in 2020, the real question remains if it will get a vote before the full House floor.
Look Ahead: Kentucky gaming bills always face tough odds in a state with strong anti-gambling sentiment but this year, lawmakers are more focused on restoring historic horse racing terminals — and, more so, a major budget crunch execrated by the COVID-19 pandemic. With an already truncated odd-numbered legislative session to begin with, sports betting may struggle to gain much traction in Frankfort.
New York.
Assemblymember J. Gary Pretlow and Sen. Joseph Addabbo have introduced identical bills in their respective chambers that would allow up to 14 online mobile operators as well as betting kiosks at professional sports stadiums and off-track betting venues.
Status : Both bills could see votes in their respective gaming committees as early as this week, but that vote isn’t as important as a budget proposal expected from Gov. Andrew Cuomo in the coming days.
Look Ahead: Cuomo surprised the gaming world earlier this month when he came out in support of legal online wagering but just as quickly angered stakeholders when he said he wanted only one operator. A press statement released last week indicated the governor may support a multi-operator model, but it will have to come with the backing of lawmakers already looking to advance a proposal of their own. The fate of New York online betting depends on finding an agreement on either a multiple operator or single operator model. Cuomo’s draft budget could go a long way toward that solution.
South Dakota.
After voters backed a 2020 ballot measure to legalize sports betting last fall, lawmakers introduced follow-up legislation in January that would lay out key regulatory and taxation details for retail sportsbooks in the historic gaming town of Deadwood, as well as Native American casinos.
Status: The bill in South Dakota has been assigned to the Senate State Affairs Committee and could be discussed as early as this month.
Look Ahead: Passing a retail sports betting bill seems like a safe bet in 2021. Online sports betting is the bigger question. Though gaming is only allowed in Deadwood, some mobile betting backers believe online wagering could be permitted statewide if the computer servers are physically within Deadwood limits. Though it would mean far larger revenue potential, it’s a logistically, politically and possibly legally more difficult endeavor, and the initial bill’s lack of mobile betting authorization indicates it may not even be considered in this year’s session.
Massachusetts.
Lawmakers discussed a handful of sports betting bills in 2020, including one sponsored by Gov. Charlie Baker, but elected officials couldn’t reach consensus despite bipartisan support. The General Court is set to take up wagering bills again in 2021, but some of the logistical hurdles remain.
Status: Rep. Bradford Hill introduced a trio of mobile sports wagering bills last week, and more are set to follow in the Senate (and possibly the House). With the state’s year-long session just beginning, additional legislation to follow and more pressing budget concerns to consider, it could be a while before these specific proposals see much momentum.
Look Ahead: Massachusetts, which has increasingly embraced gaming in recent years as competition for gambling dollars grows in other New England states, has frustrated the sports betting industry with its failure to advance legal wagering despite the latent political support. With statewide, legal wagering already in Rhode Island and New Hampshire (and likely in Connecticut) there’s more motivation than ever to pass a bill. Politicians still must work out operator access, college betting legality and a host of other issues they’ve struggled to reach consensus on in recent years.
Illegal Sports Betting.
Illegal Sports Betting.
Sports betting is a huge industry. Some states have legalized certain activities in recent years, but many online betting sites and activities are still unlawful. To avoid illegal sports betting, you must understand and follow current state and federal laws before making a wager.
Illegal sports betting has real consequences for people who place and receive wagers—and for the safety of the American public.
Organized crime groups often run illegal gambling operations. These groups often use the money made from illegal gambling to fund other criminal activities, like the trafficking of humans, drugs, and weapons. These operations may also be involved in tax evasion and money laundering.
One of the FBI’s priorities is to investigate organized crime groups that operate illegal sports betting operations and disrupt and dismantle their activities.
Besides possibly funding organized crime activities, people who place wagers with illegal sports betting operations may be at risk of extortion and violence, which bookmakers may use to collect debts.
Report Illegal Sports Betting.
To help address this crime, the FBI encourages anyone with information about illegal sports betting operations to submit a tip online or report it to the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3). Tips can be kept anonymous.
New Twist on an old Game: Sexual Bets.
Looking for an easy way to spice up sex? Here’s a simple method that costs nothing and anyone can do.
Last week, my wife and I were chatting over Facebook (I was at work, she was on her phone). We were discussing the plans for the evening, were there any meetings, clubs, activities, etc that we are required to go to. Then she sent me a message that nearly knocked me off my chair:
Maybe we could play cards and whoever wins can have almost anything they want later…..
Now, the “almost” is entirely understandable as we’ve only had sex once since our last child was born. Certain limitations were 100% understood and acceptable. Of course I liked the plan. We were playing Dominion, a strategy game involving cards. It’s a pretty fast paced game with a turn lasting typically 10 seconds or less and a game lasting a half an hour or more, and you’re never quite sure who is winning until you finish and count up the points.
Now, we love this game, but that night there was something else. We were both a little nervous I think. When’s the last time you were nervous about sex? And I don’t mean being nervous about your spouse saying “no”. But just nervous because you are in new territory. I was being a lot more daring in my strategies, trying new things, anything to win, and by the end of the first game, I had no idea who was going to win before the actual scoring.
We counted up the cards, and I came out on top, 76 to 74. 2 points! But we were playing best two out of three. After a short break, we started the second game. Now I was really nervous. If I won, we were finished and I got “almost anything” I wanted. If not, we’d have to play again, and lose a half an hour of potential in bed time, and I might lose. After a grueling game, we counted up the cards, and again, I was on top. 105 vs 103. I had won by only 2 points each game, and consequently had won the bet!
A board game had completely changed our outlook on upcoming sex. Just to be clear: we were going to have sex anyways, I don’t think your sex life should ever depend on any outside influence like the outcome of a game, or chores completed. I don’t see anything wrong with those things being extra, but not the basis for your intimacy.
So, what about you, have you ever spiced up your sex life with a sexual bet?
37 Questions for spouses to ask each other about sex.
Subscribe to get the 2 page PDF full of questions to help you and your spouse start to talk about your sex life.
Related.
8 thoughts on “New Twist on an old Game: Sexual Bets”
Nobody commented? Really? Ok, I’m game….
I’ve got nothing. We’ve never done this, but it is something I’d like to do. I always thought those fuzzy dice would be fun…you know, the ones that say lick, kiss, suck, whatever on one die and a body part on another. Hubby’s not too adventurous, though.
Otherwise, I thought about buying him a deck of cards and on each card writing something I love about him. I was either going to give them to him to use when he’s away from home to pass the time, or use them for a bedtime card game.
I was just cruising around to get familiar with you site and stopped here for a moment. I wanted to say something about sexual bets that may lead to a post of you in the future. Having read the posts on bondage, among others, I feel you will understand my point.
I am sure at some point you and your wife have asked one another “What would you like, anything special? I also suspect at this more advanced point in your sex life you both respond with a suggestion/request/”demand”/whatever.
I am sure though that a lot of couples respond with “what ever you want” or “oh, anything” or “I like everything you do,” or “I don’t know. Surprise me.” It understandable that this happens with couples that aren’t comfortable with their sexuality or comfortable and secure with sharing it so openly, even though married. I won’t get into how they need to get past that, that’s a whole other issue.
My point here is that the misunderstood or overlooked dynamic here is that your spouse wants very much to please you. They want to give you the gift of a fulfilled sexual experience and in so doing, receive a feeling of emotional attunement with you. In short pleasuring you will please and pleasure them also. But in order for them to give to you, you have to request. Remember when you were a child and you parents asked what did you want for Christmas or your birthday? If they could afford it, find it and thought it was beneficial, they bought it for you. They received joy seeing you receive that gift. Your spouses desire to give you a sexual or intimate gift for your pleasure will give them joy and pleasure in return. Don’t be guilty of denying them that opportunity because you are too shy, inhibited or feel unworthy of a love that deep. How disappointed have you felt when you asked our spouse what they wanted as a gift for a special occasion and they replied, “Oh nothing. Don’t worry about it. We really can’t afford anything anyway?” In reality you understood their reply, but felt denied a chance to express your love. It’s really a form of refusal although we don’t look at it that way. There is always an option to suggest the “cheaper” gift that can be “afforded” if you will as opposed to outright denial toward your spouse. Tell them you’d love to go to that ice cream place from your dating days. You can find a gift you are comfortable asking for and allow your spouse to have that joy of pleasing you.
Also, in asking for something, you are saying there are things you do for me that we share that I dearly love and cherish. Will you please do that for me now? How do you think that makes them feel about your relationship? They feel wanted, needed, appreciated and desired. You have just given them a gift too. Be thinking about how you will answer that question the next time it is asked, or better still, don’t wait for them to ask. You be brave and go first. Tell them what you like and want. Believe it of not, that is more fulfilling to your mate than them having to ask. It tells them that they are on you mind even in your absence.
AS to the game post that got me started on this. I feel if you have “WON” a right of request, you are particularly obliged to come up with some “demand” and the more unique or special, the better. The important dynamic here is both parties entered into a contract of winner takes all. The apparent thing is we are playing to win. Below the surface though, one or both may be playing to lose. The loser gets the opportunity to give and that may be more satisfying than “winning.” That may be the real win of the game.
Yes, I agree, for this to work, there has to be two things: 1) Spouses have to be free to talk about sex together. 2) Spouses have to have an attitude that sex is good and like to serve each other in this capacity.
If #1 is missing, winning will feel like losing because of the uncomfortable position it puts you in. If #2 is missing, winning will feel like losing, because you will be forcing your partner, against their will, to perform sexually.
Thanks for commenting, welcome to the site.
“My point here is that the misunderstood or overlooked dynamic here is that your spouse wants very much to please you.” I think this is a very powerful dynamic for men – much more than women. I say that because sexually speaking, men are less complex than women. Men derive a great deal of satisfaction from pleasing their wives. And to not let them know how to do that relationally and sexually, is as Userdand says, “a form of refusal”. In our marriage we’ve both been guilty of it, and then blaming the other person, however subtly, for not being able to read the cues or figure it out.
But like JD says, in order for this kind of intimacy to happen, there has to be freedom. In my opinion, you don’t get this kind of freedom without some serious maturity and trust. With maturity and trust leading to deeper freedom, the gates of inhibition are blown out of the water.
“My point here is that the misunderstood or overlooked dynamic here is that your spouse wants very much to please you.”
I just wanted to clarify something about that quote. I was poorly written on my part. It reads like I am saying Jay Dee may not understand that dynamic. I was meaning to imply that any married couple may over look that aspect of responding to being asked, “What can I do for you?” The person responding and voicing a request may feel they are somehow being selfish and not understand that they are in effect actually enhancing the shared intimacy between them and they both then can share in the blessing of giving to one another in a way that only they can do for one another under the marriage covenant. I hope that didn’t confuse things.
I was a bit confused about that, but chose to assume the best. Thanks for clarifying though.
Sexy Corte and I love ourselves some sex games!
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